Brainfart of the Unpissoffable
Ugh, what an awful week! I don't know what exactly is so awful about it but I just know that it's not been one of my better weeks. And it's still only wednesday. I feel really weird and a little bit ill and sort of apprehensive about... fuck knows what. Maybe, just maybe, it's because nothing particularly awful has happened this week - and I'm probably expecting something awful to happen sometime soon. I'm just paranoid. Everything's fine.Had a really nice day shopping on monday. I was looking for birthday presents for Dave, but also relishing the fact that I'd be getting out of the flat and visiting some of my favourite places. A few days before I'd been having a huge self-improvement drive and had ended up really making the effort to look good for this shopping trip. So I did my hair and make up, put on some nice simple clothes, and off I went, thinking I actually look half decent for a change.
Turns out that I'm looking better than half decent. In fact, men seem to be openly staring at me from the time I get on the train to the time I get on the bus home again (any girls that's ever been to Paris will know this is no new phenomenon among the leery beggary types of guys you see - but this weren't leery beggary types, they were normal guys!!!) Everywhere I went people were noticing me, shop assistants were following me round, offering me help and advice etc, a group of builders shouted mignon and whistled at me (apparently builder's etiquette is international!), and so on and so forth. It was quite nice, though I was obviously on full concentration-on-shopping mode (except in Sephora, when I was in full-on 'could I really justify spending 30euros on Clinique eyecream?' mode) So there I am, feeling wonderful, looking good, when oh no! One of those leery beggary fuckers is trying to chat me up. And somehow, he can tell I'm English. I hate it when that happens!!!! Do I have a huge sign over my head saying "ENGLISH - CHAT ME UP NOW!!"?? And I hate these horrible guys, they always follow you and I have to wonder what exactly makes them do it? Why the hell do they think they could ever have a chance with women?? Ugh. But anyway, back to the original point, this is what kicked off my paranoia. I suddenly realised that everyone must know I'm English and they must be thinking about how much cash I have on me, and, funniest of all, how many rude and disgusting words can they say in French and get away with (because, of course, they don't know I understand everything, stupid fuckers) So it put a pretty nasty edge on what had been a really nice day, but I got Dave's presents so it's all good.
My classes are getting more and more boring as the weeks draw on. The kids don't mind, it means they get to play games or read the english magazines, but it's mind-numbingly dull for me, cos I just sit there and supervise. But apart from being dull, I don't care. I had a class today who tried their very hardest, bless them, to piss me off. And I just let it all flow over me, there are no students here, I'm in my happy-but-a-little-bit-paranoid place. Thus I'm unpissoffable. Though I am slightly peeved now - I decided the best way to clear out all the meaningless crap in my mind is to go and have a chicha with Juliette, and we planned to meet at five, but it's just been announced that my help is needed with a class at three. Gah!! I also have to come in on a monday soon and go to a meeting I know very little about, and can't possibly be any help with. Oh well, only four weeks left at the school, hurray! And then I'll probably miss it like crazy and wish I could have stayed a little longer. On second thoughts.... maybe not.
posted by Kim @ 3/08/2006 01:09:00 pm
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